Posts tagged listening

My mother-in-law (MIL) recently came to Hong Kong to visit as we have a new member added to the family.

Over dinner, she rattled off in a monologue talking about her stock market investments although she has no idea how it works, the fitness centre she was coaxed to joined, how over-weight she was, how she shouldn’t eat sweet things but can’t control herself, how expensive the personal fitness coaching fees are, how her friends are telling her to sell her apartment to make a quick buck in this bull market, how she bought a minibook computer but have no idea how to use it, and how she lost it within a week. She also lamented about her two dogs who are ill-disciplined and prone to sickness.

I could practically not say a word throughout the entire “conversation” and simply utter, “Uhuh…uhuh…” intermittently.

You see, MIL is retired and she did so before she turned 60.

Every time I see MIL, I am always reminded of two things:

1. What I do not want my retirement to be.

In my opinion, MIL is just surviving. She’s not living at all. Her life is mundane and driven by what other people say. In other words, BORING. In fact, her life has no direction and I suspect this will be the case until the day she is gone.

Is this what life is about? Is this what retirement is about? Work all your life just to get to get to the point of being “purposeless”?

I don’t know about you but I have decided not to ever retire. You see, “RETIRE” means “To get TIRED all over again” to me. No way! Instead, I prefer to “RE-TYRE” myself – This means I would want to “change new tyres” to try news things, see new places, live a new life!

2. How to destroy rapport and relationships with even the people I love.

The quickest way to break rapport with someone is to focus on yourself and talk nothing about yourself.

It is obvious that MIL didn’t care about my family and me at all. All she cared about is herself and she was too busy telling us about her life instead of asking about us.