Have or Not?

Two Tuesdays ago, I had two separate conversations with two persons
on the same day which I thought were quite interesting. Here’s how
each one went:
 
1. A student of mine who is in her early 20s
 
Over lunch, she was relating to me how the current market situation
sounds very daunting and that coming from a not-so-well-known
university will post certain challenges in her job-hunt in the near
future.
 
She spoke of how most of her graduating friends in the university
are planning to avoid the current downturn by opting to sign up for
a Master’s degree program once they get their undergraduate degree.
 
Even so, she feels a calling in her heart that she should start her
professional career upon graduation instead of continuing to study.
 She knows the exact field she wishes to be in and is focused on
uncovering all the opportunities in the field wherever they may be.
 
At the same time, she understands the challenges ahead and instead
of finding ways to avoid them, she is making plans to prepare to
overcome them.
 
She’s scheduling time to build her network, attend recruitment
talks, job-fairs, keep fit, eat well, craft and refine her resume
and cover-letter.
 
I was particularly impressed with her enthusiasm and passion.
Throughout our conversation, I could feel that she already has the
job and career that she wants very clearly in her mind. And she’s
taking steps each day to move towards her goals.
 
 
2. A good friend of mine who is in his late 30s
 
While catching up over the phone, he spoke about how the people
around have achieved the level of “success” that he aspires to
achieve. Yet, although having tried very hard and strived for many
years now, he is disappointed that his goals have eluded him.
 
He also found that while he tries to be happy for the people and
friends around him who have “succeeded,” such news only brings
further disappointment to him and reminds him that he “does not
have.”
 
And when I suggested that keeping such an attitude will only
continue to bring him disappointment, he argued that “it is only
human” for him to be unhappy with his current situation.
 
When I suggested options which he can take, he presented the
challenges and difficulties of those options. He sounded very
convinced that it is simply impossible to achieve what he wants,
especially after having tried “every avenue.” He sounded resigned
to his “fate.”
 
 
There is an interesting chapter in the Bible that says that those
who have will be given more, and those who do not have, even what
he has will be taken away [Matthew 2:29]. What it means to say is
that that those who make use of the talents that they have fully
will be rewarded with abundance while those who do not will lose
even those talents they  have.  
 
If your starting point is lack (i.e. I don’t have happiness, I
don’t have wealth, I don’t have success, etc.), then you are
focused on lack (“have-not”). Guess what? You will receive what you
focus on.
 
On the other hand, if you starting point is abundance and act AS IF
you already possess what you wish to achieve, then you are focused
on abundance (“have”). And guess what? The law of the universe is
neutral and you will receive what you focus on.

What Do You Think About?

I finished a class late last Friday at 9.30pm and found most
eateries closed or closing. My stomach was growling as I made my
way through Mongkok after having left the load of class materials
back in my office. Fortunately, there is always a McDonald’s around
the corner.

At 10pm, McDonald’s was still packed with people. After buying a
fillet-o-fish meal, I found a seat at the bar table opposite 2
ladies who looked like they were in their mid 20s. I was also next
to a young couple who couldn’t be more than 30 years old.

As I chomped down on my burger and fries, their conversation became
quite apparent to me. The girls were lamenting about the service of
McDonald’s, about the situation at work, about having done their
best and not getting any appreciation. The couple was complaining
to each other about their unenjoyable day in the office and how
some individuals in the office is always playing politics where
they have to work so hard.

I looked up as I listened and saw bitter, unhappy, frowning faces.
No surprises there. After all, what we feel inside is always
reflected outside – in our voice, in our body language, in our
words. At that moment, I wondered how many other people were
“discussing” unhappy events of the day at McDonald’s and why they
choose to “torture” themselves at the end of a long day.

The fact is that the more you talk about situations that you don’t
like and don’t want, you focus more and more on them. And the more
you focus on them, the bigger they become in your mind. And the
bigger they become in your mind, the more of such similar
situations you will get in your life.

This is commonly known as the Law of Attraction. We attract what we
think about most of the time.If you are focused on what you don’t
want, you are going to get MORE of what you don’t want. This is the
reason why some people keep getting into similar situations in life.

To break the cycle, it is vital to be focused on what you want.
Yes, problems exist but instead of putting energy into the problem,
direct your energy to the solution. Think about how things can be
different and how thinks can be better.

It is not possible to stop thinking of a blue elephant. The only
way is to think of a red car (or something else instead of a blue
elephant).