Career Worth Living For!
Posts tagged choice
I always wanted to be a doctor
Jun 24th
I had always wanted to be a doctor. A medical doctor.
Well, at least up till 17 year old when I had to choose my A-level subjects, my determination to become a doctor was still very strong.
The source of this determination was my aunt.
I spent a large part of my childhood with my grandparents as my parents were busy with their work. When I was still a little boy, my aunt was a teenager and she spent a lot of time helping my grandmother to look after me and to “entertain” me. So, she quickly became my constant companion and idol.
I remember my grandmother always saying that it is best to have a doctor in the family so that the family’s medical needs are taken care of. I think she meant “…taken care of for free” since there are clinics and hospitals around.
My aunt was an excellent student and consistently did well in school. And she had the opportunity to go to medical school and eventually became a doctor. Thinking back, I am not sure if she became a doctor by her own freewill.
In any case, during her studies in the university, I always had the opportunity to play with her school stuff – set of surgery knives, skeleton, stethoscope, spatula, doctor’s white garb, books, etc. Although, these were just toys to me, I was regularly exposed to the medical profession. And before I knew it, I was writing essays in school about wanting to be a doctor.
My reason? I wanted to saving lives and to help others live better lives.
This decision had steered me to choose to study the subjects in secondary school necessary to prepare for medical school. With that kind of determination, there was no reason to not perform well in the secondary school exams. I got into one of the top junior colleges for my advanced level subjects and it was time to choose subjects again.
At that time, my aunt had graduated from university and officially become a doctor. I remember vividly the day I told her about the subjects I intended to choose and she asked what I wanted to do in the future.
“I want to be a doctor, just like you”, I answered confidently.
“Don’t be a doctor. You’ll work like a dog!” came her response.
At that moment, my whole world shattered. To have someone I admired and respected so much say what she did to me at that time was devastating.
All of a sudden, I felt lost.
In the end, I chose the path of computing and emerged from the process with a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Engineering. I didn’t exactly wanted to carve a career in the IT industry. Computing was simply something I was interested to toy with as a hobby having used and programmed an Apple II since 12.
Thinking back, what intrigued me most about computers is that it is a fantastic problem-solving tool. And I LOVE troubleshooting issues and solving problems.
Now, what is the work I am doing now? What am I absolutely committed to?
Teaching, training, coaching and guiding.
It is now very clear to me why I became a teacher. The reason has been consistent all my life in the things that I find pleasure in doing!
It is because I want to save lives and to help others live better lives. Instead of being a medical doctor, I am somewhat a “doctor of the mind” today. I am also in business and I see business as a problem-solving tool. Where there is a problem (i.e. need), there is a market.
So, that’s my own example of how to find your life purpose. Start by thinking about what you wanted to become when you were young(er). Consider why you wanted to become that or do that. Once you arrive at your root motivator (most times this will be one of your personal core values), you would have found your calling and life mission.
That Hurts!
May 11th
Just last week, my 6 months old daughter was due for one of her vaccination injections.
Of course, at that age, she didn’t know that we were bringing her to the clinic for that purpose. Even at the clinic waiting for her turn, she was just being herself, observing the surroundings, people and putting anything she can grab into her mouth!
When her turn came, we brought her into the consultation room and the nurse asked a couple of routine questions. My daughter was still very happy thinking that the nurse was talking to her and she quite promptly responded with her baby talk.
Then, the nurse took out the needle and prepared the syringe.
Ready? (At this point, my daughter is still smiling, oblivious to the impending injection)
The nurse then poked the needle into her left thigh and injected the vaccine.
At this very moment, my daughter SCREAMED, YELLED, and CRIED!
My heart broke. I felt so sorry putting her though this.
What happened next was quite interesting.
As soon as the needle was removed from her thigh, her crying stopped. Instantaneously.
As the nurse wiped her injection “wound,” my daughter was back to her happy and smiling self.
You see, babies don’t carry pain with them.
They may feel pain at the moment and respond to the pain by crying (this instinct is such that help can come to them), but once there is no more pain, there is no more need for the crying and screaming.
Life goes on.
But this doesn’t happen to adults, unfortunately.
Although equipped with a much more developed brain and a very educated mind, the adult treats pain very differently.
Adults remember pain. They put the pain into their memory and carry that memory around with them. And once ever so regularly, they’ll bring up this memory (by choice, mind you) and feel the pain all over again.
They may even get depressed, cry and scream all over again as if the pain had just happened to them.
Even though the hurt is no longer there, they continue to behave as though it is still there.
Of course, I am not just talking about physical pain but emotional pain as well.
And some of them may even tell you how they are suffering because of this pain in the past.
You see, there is a difference between pain and suffering.
Pain is a feeling. It is a physiological signal that we get when something is not right with our body. We don’t have a choice with pain.
Suffering, on the other hand, is not a feeling. Suffering is an emotional response to pain and hurt.
Suffering is a choice. In other words, it is a decision that we make.
A lot of people choose to suffer even though the initial pain is long gone. They choose to hang on to the memory of the pain and hurt. They continue to wear themselves down holding on to something that exists only in their minds and not in real life.
Before their physical life comes to a natural end, their spirits have long become dead.
This reminds me of something Helen Keller, who was both deaf and blind, said. When asked what can be worst than being blind, her answer was, “It is a terrible thing to see and no vision.”
You see, to see is a physical occurrence. But vision is intentional choice and creation.
Are you holding on to a past that is preventing you from living a wonderful life now?
If you are not living your life fully now, you can be quite sure there isn’t going to be much of a future for you.
The good news is that you have a choice and you are the only one responsible for your own life.
I sure hope you will make an excellent choice today and everyday.
He made me angry!
Jul 2nd
A few months ago, I gave a class presentation assignment in which
student teams were to give a 10-minute presentation before the
class followed by an open question-and-answer session.
During one presentation, the presenter finished her 10 minutes well
and opened the floor to questions. After several straight forward
questions (which was handled with ease), one student raised his
hand and asked a series of challenging questions in a rather
agressive manner.
It was obvious to me that the questions were asked for the sake of
asking (and showing off) instead of with the intention of helping
the presenting team realize their shortcomings. There was no
intention on the part of the questioner to listen to the answer.
All he wanted to do was to throw out questions to challenge the
presenter.
Or so it seemed. At least to the presenter.
Her emotions started to boil as she responded angrily to the
provoking classmate. Her eyes then welled up with tears and at this
juncture, I decided to step in to stop the awkward situation. (If I
remember correctly, this was the first time I had a student crying
in my class!)
I spoke with her after class and told her that presentation was
actually quite well done but the way she handled the questions was
totally unprofessional. That gave her a failing score and warranted
a redo.
Her response was this, “But HE made me angry by the way he asked
his questions!”
Isn’t this how most of us respond to life?
We tend to REACT to situations rather than choose to RESPOND to
them. We think that it is other people and circumstances that are
causing us to be angry, depressed, frustrated and sad. Not just
that, we are happy only when people give us good news, or a comedy
makes us laugh, or when things go our way.
But is this true? Not so. It is so only because we chose to allow
it.
The fact is that we can CHOOSE. How we feel at the moment is a
choice.
We can CHOOSE to be happy. We can choose to focus on what we want
instead of what we don’t want. We can choose to respond in a
professional manner. We can choose not to blame others or
circumstances.We can choose to take positive and constructive
action.
Remember this: Nobody can make you upset without your permission.
So, guess what? It is up to you.
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