Ultimate Career
Career Worth Living For!
How Flexible Are You?
Sep 30th
The Menninger Institute of Kansas City, USA, conducted a research a while to verify what qualities would be most important for success and happiness in the 21st century. Their conclusion is this: The most single most important personal quality that you can develop is:
Flexibility.
We are living in an age where change is happening faster than anyone of us can imagine. Like what Einstein said some time ago, answers to the same questions are changing all the time. For those of you who are studying now, most of what you are learning now will become obsolete by the time you graduate.
Coupled with the rapid advancement in technology, change doesn’t occur in a straight line, is unpredictable and come from all different sides that it is impossible to predict.
Since this is the case, the only attribute that will ensure your sustained success is your flexibility to learn new skills, find new resources, try new solutions, tread new paths.
Change causes great stress for people who have a “fixed” mindset. These are people who are stuck in their beliefs and ideas about how things SHOULD BE. They have fallen in love with “tradition” and “history.” They are always thinking, “I have done it this way in the past and it worked, and so, I shall continue to do it this way.”
They constantly take on the role of a JUDGE, comparing how things are done now with how things have been done in the past. As such, they continue to use their existing methods and processes, and are unwilling to change even when circumstances demand otherwise.
In other words, they can only think IN the box given to them.
And they would rather spend energy and time RESISTING the change rather than putting that effort into making the change work for them.
Whether you like it or not, a time like this demands rapid response to blinding changes. It is VITAL that you develop your flexibility by remaining open to all possibilities and never to close yourself off to anything. Stay alert to new ideas, information, and knowledge at all times and be willing to put them to use or test.
Remember this: It is your willingness that makes you able.
Who do you play with?
Sep 15th
Have you ever thought of why change is so hard sometimes?
The change may be to lose weight, to quit smoking, to exercise more, to be more motivated, to be more disciplined at work or in school, to take more risk, or to do something you always wanted to but never dared.
One major reason for us not changing when we know we should is that our reference group is holding us back.
What does this mean?
Our reference group is the group of people we identify with and are around with most often. This group of people may be our family, friends, colleagues, religious group, business affiliations, school affiliations or social/community affiliations. We feel that we belong to this group and know that, in most ways, everybody in this group is similar to one another.
It is interesting to note that substantial research has shown that our current state of being is often within close range of the other individuals within our reference group – i.e. the level of salary, motivation, wealth, health, energy, achievement, happiness, etc.
For example, if your reference group consists of people earning HK$30,000 every month, it is very likely that your salary will also be about HK$30,000 a month; if your reference group consists of people who are positive with life and highly motivated, then you will very likely be positive and highly motivated; if your reference group consists of people who smokes, you will very likely be a smoker.
While all of us have the capability to change, we are limited, psychologically, by the “norm” of our reference group. When I served in the armed forces during my late teens, I was highly disciplined and could accomplish anything I put my heart and mind to. This was so because the army (my environment) demanded so and that most of my colleagues (my reference group) then did so. However, within 6 months of leaving the armed forces, I struggled to maintain the high standards that I used to have and eventually gave up trying. Why? Because my reference group had changed.
In order to make positive changes or achieve higher goals, it is vital to ensure that your reference group consists of people who are already living the change or achievements that you want. If you want to lose weight, be around healthy and fit people; If you want to be happy, be around happy people; If you want to be successful, be around successful people. This is also why finding yourself a mentor is important.
Choosing a new reference group also means that you have to give up your current affiliations – i.e. stop or at least reduce your identification towards your current reference group. You should, of course, do this slowly and gracefully or you will end up having lots of enemies. : )
Action Steps
1.      Take out a sheet of paper and start writing down what it is that you want in your life. Think about what an ideal life for you will be like – in terms of finances, relationships, time, health, career/work.
2.      Beside each item you have written down from point (1) above, list down the people whom you currently know who is living the kind of life that you want. If you don’t know anyone, think of how you can possibly know such people.
3.      Get out there. Find these people and become part of their group!