Career Worth Living For!
Life skills
What Do You Think About?
Mar 3rd
I finished a class late last Friday at 9.30pm and found most
eateries closed or closing. My stomach was growling as I made my
way through Mongkok after having left the load of class materials
back in my office. Fortunately, there is always a McDonald’s around
the corner.
At 10pm, McDonald’s was still packed with people. After buying a
fillet-o-fish meal, I found a seat at the bar table opposite 2
ladies who looked like they were in their mid 20s. I was also next
to a young couple who couldn’t be more than 30 years old.
As I chomped down on my burger and fries, their conversation became
quite apparent to me. The girls were lamenting about the service of
McDonald’s, about the situation at work, about having done their
best and not getting any appreciation. The couple was complaining
to each other about their unenjoyable day in the office and how
some individuals in the office is always playing politics where
they have to work so hard.
I looked up as I listened and saw bitter, unhappy, frowning faces.
No surprises there. After all, what we feel inside is always
reflected outside – in our voice, in our body language, in our
words. At that moment, I wondered how many other people were
“discussing” unhappy events of the day at McDonald’s and why they
choose to “torture” themselves at the end of a long day.
The fact is that the more you talk about situations that you don’t
like and don’t want, you focus more and more on them. And the more
you focus on them, the bigger they become in your mind. And the
bigger they become in your mind, the more of such similar
situations you will get in your life.
This is commonly known as the Law of Attraction. We attract what we
think about most of the time.If you are focused on what you don’t
want, you are going to get MORE of what you don’t want. This is the
reason why some people keep getting into similar situations in life.
To break the cycle, it is vital to be focused on what you want.
Yes, problems exist but instead of putting energy into the problem,
direct your energy to the solution. Think about how things can be
different and how thinks can be better.
It is not possible to stop thinking of a blue elephant. The only
way is to think of a red car (or something else instead of a blue
elephant).
What’s your life about?
Feb 19th
Every once in a while in my life, I stumble upon some really really meaningful things (news, books, events, speech, etc.) which makes me sit back and think about how fortunate and blessed I am. A friend of mine sent me a video clip on Google video last week and I don’t usually spare the time for such links (because most of them are… rather trashy). And I was somehow curious enough that day, perhaps tired from the day’s work and all so eager to take my mind off things, to check out the clip.
And I was thankful that I did. It gave me new zest for life!
The video is a simple lecture by Dr Randy Pausch at Carnegie Mellon University about achieving childhood dreams. It is deeply deeply moving and even at this terminal stage of his life, you will not see an ounce of negativity. The 1.5 hours you use to watch this lecture seminar will be such a great investment for your life!
Click here to see it! Or simply go to video.google.com and search for “Randy Pausch.”
With tears rolling down my cheek as I watched, I was reminded that life is really about living every moment. About daring to dream big dreams and then go on ahead to achieve them. It is about sharing with people you love. Reflecting back, while I am someone who is always thinking big and taking actions to make it happen, there were many moments in my life that I was held back by fear (most of them imagined) and what others may think.
In the long term, we are all dead. Between now and then, what are you doing with your life?
Saving face
Feb 15th
“Saving face” is important for many people, especially in the Asian context. While some of our behaviour are motivated by our need to look good in the eyes of others, it is helpful to understand that such a need stems from our self-esteem (or the lack of it).
Many students are not accustomed to asking questions in the classroom because they want to avoid asking,”stupid questions” or “questions that will waste everybody’s time.” But who is the judge of the “quality” of those questions?
If we consider the word “self-esteem,” it actually means the way we judge ourselves to be good or bad at something. In other words, self-esteem is our opinion of ourselves, or so it should be. However, the problem is that too many of us judge ourselves by how we think others judge us. For example, if my boss said that I did an excellent job, I feel good about myself and my self-esteem goes up; If I am kicked out of school because of poor results my teachers said that I will not accomplish anything in life, my self-esteem may go down and I may think that I am good for nothing.
And guess what? Whatever you choose to accept, it becomes true for you.
Simply put, if you often feel a need to “save face,” the opinion of others has become more important than your own opinion of yourself. And you are responsible to yourself for this.
Think about this: If you walked into a room to give speech to an audience of 100 people, you can be quite sure that there will be 100 different opinions of you at the end of your presentation. So, which one will affect your self-esteem? Which one should you choose?
The answer is simple and profound: Your own. The fact is that you can never please everyone. Yet, you should always treat the 100 opinions as feedback for doing better next time.
If you have done courses in business, psychology or organizational theory, you would have been introduced to the theory “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.” According to Maslow, the highest human need is to be self-actualized. He went on to say that a fully self-actualized person is one who is independent of the good opinions of others.
So, the next time you feel a need to “save face,” think about why that is necessary. Choose the course of action through which you will learn and become a better person in your own opinion instead of one that will save you face but does not help you at all.
Remember: If you are not getting better, you are getting worse.
Communicate to Succeed
Jan 21st
How strong are your communication skills?
In this day and age in which technology is abundant, the way that we communicate with one another has evolved within the business world. While face-to-face communication is still important, learning how to communicate using digital technology is also crucial when entering the work force. To succeed in your career, seek to master your communication face-to-face, within a group, over the telephone and through email.
Face-to-Face Communication
There will be numerous opportunities for you to communicate with co-workers and superiors within your chosen career. There are a few things to keep in mind when working to display strong communication skills, including:
> Always make eye contact with the individual speaking to you
> Turn off all other electronic devices within a meeting to eliminate distractions
> Actively listen- seeking to understand what the speaker is saying by asking probing and clarifying questions as needed. Use statements like, “I may be wrong but what you are saying is …”
> Sit up straight and model your body language to match that of the person speaking to you (this established rapport)
> We unconsciously like people who are similar to ourselves. And a very easy work to establish rapport with someone is to behave like them through matching or mirroring body language, voice tone, tempo and pitch of speech.
Group Meeting Communication
In most organizations, group meetings are commonplace. You may be required to attend conferences, staff meetings or training sessions throughout your service within an organization. Follow these tips to increase your communication skills when within a group setting:
- > Sit near the front of the group or near the speaker
- > Take notes to show the speaker that you are engaged in what they are saying
- > Remain focused on the meeting’s objective(s)
- > Hold all questions until the designated question and answer session; refrain from interrupting the speaker
- > Use questions to clarify a point or communciate a point
- > If your question would benefit the group as a whole, ask it at the appropriate time
- > If your question is more individual in nature, speak with the speaker privately
- > To increase your credibility even if you don’t have a question, formulate a question that would show insight and attention to the subject matter and ask it during the question and answer portion of the presentation
Teleconference Communication
A growing number of organizations are using teleconferencing (sometimes called “conference calls”) or even webcasts to communicate messages to a large corporate audience. If you are on a teleconference, be sure to adhere to the following etiquette:
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> Place your phone on mute to eliminate any background noise while on the call
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> Participate in the call from a landline, not a cell phone to reduce interference or background noise or dropping from the call
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> Take notes to refer to after the call as well as to note any questions you have about the material being covered
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> Some teleconference call systems allows recording for retrieval and reference later. You can check with the teleconference organisor for information on this.
Email Communication
Email is the standard of communication in most organizations. Whether you are a student or professional, you should set aside time each day to handle emails. Here are some quick tips on communicating through emails:
- > Always proofread emails prior to sending them
- > Spell and grammar check all emails prior to sending them
- > Emails are made up by only words which lacks the necessary tone and body language to construct the intended meaning. Hence, use email sparingly to have conversations instead as the nature of an email can often be misconstrued and misinterpreted. Instead, schedule a phone call, teleconference or face-to-face meetings to discuss issues and matters.
- > When using emails at the workplace, avoid including personal comments or opinions (especially negative ones) as emails are hard records which can be forwarded (whether intentionally or not) or referenced.
- > Always review the “reply all” function to ensure that material is being sent to the correct parties. Be cautious when forwarding or replying an email to all or a distribution list as the content of one email may contain sensitive or private information not suitable for unintended recipients.
By working to master communication in each of these media, you will be improving your overall corporate communication.
The rudder of your life
Jan 12th
Have you ever wondered why some people are substantially more successful within the same job title as another? While some would believe this due to greater intelligence or job skill, studies prove that individuals who achieve great levels of success in life have greater ability to manage their own emotions. This skill is referred to as emotional competence. And, in its simplest terms, emotional competence refers to the ability to manage one’s own emotions.
While emotional competence is important within any job title or career path, it is more noticeable within others. Sales professionals or leaders of others require a greater degree of emotional competence than other professions. How do you know what your personal level of emotional competence is?
To do a quick self assessment of your own emotional competence, consider how long you take to regain focus after a distraction, a tragedy, a disappointment or a failure. Are you able to continue at the task at hand quickly after a harsh rejection or does a rejection ruin your entire workday? If you are having challenges outside of the workplace, are you able to remain focused while at work? Take a moment to think about the biggest disappointments or challenges that you have faced and how you handled or overcame them.
Emotionally competent individuals are able to resume focus within a matter of minutes or days, while an individual who lacks emotional competence may require days or even years to fully recover after a major disappointment or tragedy. Typically, those individuals who possess strong emotional competence experience greater business, personal and financial success within their life than those who do not possess the skill set.
The good news is that you can strengthen your emotional competence levels. To increase this skill set, you must begin to master your thoughts and emotions. Every time that you have a negative or self limiting belief enter your mind, you must be aware of it and then you must proactively replace the negative thought with a positive one. Sound easy? It can be if you stop to become more self aware of how you feel and what you think about on a daily basis. At first this will seem like a quite a task, but over time it will become a habit for you. You will also start to realise how “filthy†your mind really is and how easily it focuses on negative things.
Another step to take when working to increase your emotional competence is to work on things even when you don’t feel like it. For example, the successful salesperson makes outgoing sales calls even when they are down, frustrated and feel like quitting as they believe that if they keep going they will experience success. Next time you feel like quitting, stop, re-focus your energy and persist to complete the task at hand. (And remember: We are all doing the work of selling everyday!)
By working to improve your emotional competence, you are increasing your chances of experiencing success in every aspect of your life.
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