Career Worth Living For!
Life skills
Are You Dying?
Aug 17th
This is not a health question but I hear some of you saying, “Of
course not!”
Really?
Actually, we are all dying. It is only a matter of time. The
question is “when will we be dead” and not “whether we will die.”
In fact, everyday we are getting closer to our graves…not
something we like to think about much.
So, if we are all going to die one day, the next question I will
ask is this: What am I here for?
In the greater scheme of things, my life is just a parenthesis ()
in eternity. Was I born just so I will die one day? If so, it
doesn’t make any sense at all and certainly makes life meaningless.
If life is meaningless, then what does it matter whether we live or
die, successful or not, rich or not, promoted or not, healthy or
not…?
My own conclusion, after all these time of searching, is this: Life
is meaningful. It is meaningful because I have a purpose on Earth
and I am here with a mission. So are you.
What’s your life purpose? Mission?
Allow me to encourage you to seek your own unique life purpose.
When you are serving your life purpose, it’ll be like how your hand
fits into a glove perfectly.And you would have found the
motivation, life force and source of energy for the work that you
do.
There are many ways to find your life purpose. Here’s one:
1. Which two of your qualities which, when you are expressing them,
uniquely make you feel that you are most being yourself? E.g. love,
joy, justice, freedom, power, strength, peace, serenity, courage,
etc.
2. List two ways (verbs) you most enjoy expressing your unique
qualities above.
E.g. inspiring people, empowering people, playing basketball,
dancing, parenting, singing, dancing, painting, etc.
3. Assume the world is perfect now (according to the way you see it
as perfect), how would it be? E.g. The world is perfect if everyone
was pursuing their goals; if everyone will get along peacefully; if
the ecology is not being damaged; if everyone is living their
vision, if everyone is happy, etc.
4. Combine all the above into one statement and see what unfolds
from it.
E.g. If my two unique qualities are: love and joy; The two ways I
most enjoy expressing the two qualities are: inspiring and
empowering people; If the world is perfect to me, everyone will be
living their highest vision;
Then, my purpose statement is: Inspiring and empowering people to
live their highest vision in the context of love and joy.
Get it? So, what’s yours?
Your Two Major Fears
Jul 24th
The fear of failure is the one greatest obstacle to success for
adults. In the extreme case, we become obsessed with not making a
mistake, with seeking approval above all other considerations. The
experience of the fear of failure is in the words of “I can’t”, “I
can’t.” We feel it in the front of the body, starting at the
abdomen and, then, to the rapid beating of the heart, quick and
shallow breathing and a tight throat. We may also experience this
fear in the bladder and in the irresistible need to run to the
toilet.
The second major fear that causes our performance to stumble and
inhibits our expression, is the fear of rejection. We learn this
when our parents make their love for us conditional upon our
behaviour. If we do what pleases them, they give us love and
approval. If we do something they don’t like, they withdraw their
love and approval-which we interpret as rejection.
As adults, people who grew up with conditional love become
preoccupied with the opinions of others. Many people develop the
Type A personality and behaviour which is characterized by
hostility, distrust and an obsession with performance to some vague
yet high standard. This is typically expressed in the attitude of
“I have to, I have to,” and is associated with the feeling that “I
have to work harder and accomplish more in order to please the
boss.” The boss or whoever it is we are trying to please and win
approval from has become our surrogate parent.
More than 99 percent of adults experience both these fears of
failure and rejection. These two traps cause the feeling of
insecurity arising from the self-talk, “I can’t, but “I have to,”
“I have to,” but “I can’t.”
In order to remove these fears, it is vital to develop character,
courage, and high self-esteem. The opposite of fear is actually
love, particularly self-love and self-respect. When you love and
accept yourself for who you are, you will start to feel the fear
melt away.
Throughout the ages, we have been taught that in order to conquer
fear, we have to do exactly that which we fear. Acting with courage
in a situation which we feel fear is a simple way that will boost
our regard for ourselves to such a point that our fears diminish
and lose their power to affect our behaviour and decisions.
Here are two things you can do to boost your self-esteem and
confidence to overcome your fears.
1. Accept the fact that you can do anything you put your mind to.
You can learn and grow. Tell yourself, “Anything anyone has done
before, I can do it!”, “I can do it! ” when you feel afraid for any
reason.
2. Continually think of yourself as a worthy and important person.
Remember that temporary “failure” is the way you learn how to
succeed.
Master or Slave?
Jul 20th
When was the last time you used your mobile phone?
When was the last time you checked your email?
When was the last time you were away from the Internet?
I’m guessing your answer to these questions is something like, “Not
too long ago.”
For me, I used my mobile phone 5 minutes ago, checked my email 2
minutes ago and even as I write this article, I’m connected to the
Internet. I took a short vacation to Sanya in June and I was still
connected via the phone and the Internet on a daily basis…
In the society we live in, we are just so wired up and so
connected. Most of you reading this would have grown up in this
often called “Information Age” where Facebook, Twitter, MSN, QQ,
Google, Yahoo!, Blackberry, iPhone, Skype and Hotmail are just part
of our daily conversations and interactions with the people around
us.
Without a doubt, technology is here to stay. The only question is
this: Are you a Master of technology or are you enslaved to
technology. That is to say, is technology helping you towards a
more productive and efficient life or is it controlling how you
live your life?
Here are some tips to help you become a master rather than a slave
to technology:
1. Use an online calendar to track your schedule, deadlines and
goals. You can share your schedule with your team members so that
with one look, they’ll know when you are free, on leave, working on
an important project, etc. Google has a very neat and free calendar
together with GMail.
2. Schedule a time for emails and phone calls each day. Many people
have the tendency to want to check their emails every 5 minutes and
answer every phone call. I know I have struggled with this. It
simply makes you busy without allowing you to accomplish much each
day. For phone calls, I have heard people using their mobile phones
even while they are sitting on the toilet bowl in the toilet!!
Many professional are “surgically” attached to a Blackberry which
gets new emails PUSHED to the device. As such, they are constantly
reacting to emails as if in a race to see who replies faster. Doing
emails this way disrupts your concentration and interrupts your
schedule. You will find it hard to complete what you want to
complete within the limited amount of time.
There is NO NEED to reply to emails or phone calls AS THEY COME IN
(unless, of course, your job revolves around handling emails).
Turn off your email software and block out one or two hours each
day (more or less, morning or afternoon, it’s up to you) and put it
in your calendar. Handle emails and return phone calls only during
this allocated time.
To be able to handle phone calls well, make sure you have a voice
mail set up. If the phone call is important, the person will either
call back or leave a message. In any case, your mobile phone number
should only be known to people whom you want calling you (for work,
that is). And they should know that calling you on the mobile phone
means the message is important or urgent.
3. Use a electronic To-Do list. Record everything you need done on
this list. Most mobile phones have this little function and so,
you’ll be able to carry your To-Do list around. But whether it is
in a paper notebook, a phone or a computer, the important things is
to use a way to keep track of your tasks AT ONE PLACE.
4. If you are still using an email address like
081234567@university.edu.hk for your communications, it is time to
change it. I’m sure you are not a number and you have a name. Think
about it: How easy is it to remember “081234567″ compared to
“macey.law”? This is especially important in job-hunting as you’d
want employers to be able to email you easily.
And it any case, when you are out of the university, how long more
will you continue to use that email address?
5. Turn off your Instant Messaging system like MSN, QQ, Skype when
you really want to focus on a task or project.
My point is this: Make sure you know what you want to accomplish
each day and do not allow yourself to be interrupted. Be a master
of technology and make it work for YOU.
Got the keys?
Jul 13th
I managed to lock myself and my wife out of our bedroom one night
last week due to a faulty door lock. It was quite an adventure
considering the fact that we were IN our own home and, in the end,
we had to spend the night sleeping in the living room.
It was also an interesting adventure because at 11pm there wasn’t a
locksmith to call (well, I could call but they’ll charge an arm and
a leg!) and so, I learned about lock-picking on youtube throughout
the night hoping to be able to unlock the door with paperclips on
my own.
I slept at 3am that night without success.
Isn’t it amazing how the key is such a small item compared to the
door and yet, it controls the entire function of the door! Without
the key, no matter how good the quality of the door and its knob,
you simply can’t get to what’s behind the door. Only the right key
can open the right door.
How about success in life?
You would like to be successful, wouldn’t you?
If we see success as being behind a door, then this door needs more
than just one key. In fact, I’d suggest that you need at least the
following seven keys:
1. Make sure you have a clear goal and take action on that goal
daily.
2. Always move forward towards your goal and never backwards.
3. Utilize your time fully and well. The only time you have is NOW.
4. Learn from the masters and fly with the eagles. Never be swayed
by naysayers (there’ll be a lot of them).
5. Always be learning, even from problems. Obstacles and
difficulties come not to obstruct but to instruct.
6. Keep an open mind and be flexible with the approach to your goal.
7. Learn to ask for help from others. No one does it alone.
Questions for Maximum Effectiveness
Jun 28th
There are two questions that you can ask regularly to keep yourself
focused on getting your most important tasks completed on time. The
first is “What are my highest value activities?”
In other words, what are the most important tasks you have to
complete in order to make the greatest contribution to your
organization? To your family? To your life?
Think it Through Carefully
This is one of the most important questions you can ask and answer.
What are the activities that will generate the highest value? Think
this through first for yourself. Then, ask your boss. Ask your
colleagues and subordinates. Ask your friends and family. It is
vital that you are crystal clear about your highest value
activities before you begin work.
Keep Yourself Focused
The second question you should ask yourself continually is, “What
can I, and only I do, that if done well, will make a real
difference?”
This question comes from Peter Drucker, the management guru. It is
one of the best of all questions for achieving personal
effectiveness. What can you, and only you do, that if done well,
can make a real difference?
This is something that only you can do. If you don’t do it, it
won’t be done by someone else. But if you do it, and you do it
well, it can really make a difference to your life and your career.
What is your answer to this question?
You can ask yourself this question throughout each day and answer
it specifically. You must be clear about the answer and then start
and work on this task before anything other task.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do to put these ideas into use
immediately:
1. Make a list of everything you do at work and then select your
most valuable tasks from that list.
2. Resolve to start in on your highest value task and stay at it
until it is 100% complete.
Ahead of the competition?
May 15th
A friend with 3 very young children related this incident the other
day:
During breakfast one day, while his children were eating their
breakfast cereal, he poured orange juice for all 3 of them.
However, he did not pour for them a full glass each. Instead, he
gave them only half a glass each.
The children looked at the glasses and continued with their
breakfast without any words.
Then, after a brief moment, my friend began to top up their glasses
with more orange juice. For the first child, he filled the glass
fully. For the second child, he topped up the glass to 3/4 full.
And for the 3rd child, he gave just a little bit more than the
half-a-glass.
This time, his children did not remain silent. In fact, the second
and third child stopped eating and protested, “Why does he get
more?? I want more!”
Now, note that ALL of them were given MORE orange juice. They were
ALL given MORE orange juice than they originally had, which was
half a glass.
So, what invited the protest?
Comparison and competition.
Although they were each given more, the quality was different for
each child. And each child started comparing what they received
with that of another child and decided that it was not fair that
someone else received more than them.
I observed the same mentality with some university students. When a
team received their score of 7/10 after their presentation, they
were quite satisfied with the mark.
However, when they realised that there were other teams who scored
8/10, 9/10, and even 10/10, they started asking me why they
received only 7/10 and insisted that they should redo their
presentation. It was interesting that they did not consider the
fact that there were also other teams who scored less than 7/10.
Here’s something to note: The original meaning of the word
“competition” is “to fulfill your potential.”
“To compete” would mean that you are embarking on an activity that
will enable you to fulfill your potential.
The purpose of competition, as such, is not to be better than
someone else. It is to be better than yourself.
How much time do you have?
May 3rd
How much time do you have each day?
Your answer may well be, “NOT ENOUGH!”
But if I’m guessing it right, you do not have more time than me and
you do not have less time than me.
In fact, you do not have less time than Li Ka Shing, Obama, or Andy
Lau. You do not have more time than them either.
The fact is that we all have 24 hours a day.
However, some of us obviously achieve a lot more with their 24
hours compared with others. And the trick is not time
management.Because time cannot be managed, you can only manage what
you want to do in it.
And so, instead of trying to manage time, try managing your life.
So, how do you accomplish more?
First of all, you must know what it is that you want in your life.
Look at it this way, if you do not know what you want to accomplish
in your life, why does it matter what you do everyday? If you don’t
know your purpose in life or your goals in life or what your ideal
life looks like, then it doesn’t matter what you do today or
tomorrow; it doesn’t matter whether you get your degree or not; it
doesn’t matter whether you get the job or not; it doesn’t matter
whether you earn little or much money…
After you have decided on what it is that you want in your life,
then look at what you are doing each day to see if your daily
activities help to move you closer to your goals.And I mean take a
long hard look at how you spend time and expend effort each day and
determine if they align with your goals.
If any of the daily activities do not bring you closer to your
goals or your ideal life, then it is time to stop doing it.
The fact is that in order to accomplish more, you have to do less.
Life doesn’t get better by doing more. It gets better only when you
are focused and are only doing those things that matter to you.
What is it that you will stop doing today?
Have or Not?
Apr 11th
Two Tuesdays ago, I had two separate conversations with two persons
on the same day which I thought were quite interesting. Here’s how
each one went:
1. A student of mine who is in her early 20s
Over lunch, she was relating to me how the current market situation
sounds very daunting and that coming from a not-so-well-known
university will post certain challenges in her job-hunt in the near
future.
She spoke of how most of her graduating friends in the university
are planning to avoid the current downturn by opting to sign up for
a Master’s degree program once they get their undergraduate degree.
Even so, she feels a calling in her heart that she should start her
professional career upon graduation instead of continuing to study.
She knows the exact field she wishes to be in and is focused on
uncovering all the opportunities in the field wherever they may be.
At the same time, she understands the challenges ahead and instead
of finding ways to avoid them, she is making plans to prepare to
overcome them.
She’s scheduling time to build her network, attend recruitment
talks, job-fairs, keep fit, eat well, craft and refine her resume
and cover-letter.
I was particularly impressed with her enthusiasm and passion.
Throughout our conversation, I could feel that she already has the
job and career that she wants very clearly in her mind. And she’s
taking steps each day to move towards her goals.
2. A good friend of mine who is in his late 30s
While catching up over the phone, he spoke about how the people
around have achieved the level of “success” that he aspires to
achieve. Yet, although having tried very hard and strived for many
years now, he is disappointed that his goals have eluded him.
He also found that while he tries to be happy for the people and
friends around him who have “succeeded,” such news only brings
further disappointment to him and reminds him that he “does not
have.”
And when I suggested that keeping such an attitude will only
continue to bring him disappointment, he argued that “it is only
human” for him to be unhappy with his current situation.
When I suggested options which he can take, he presented the
challenges and difficulties of those options. He sounded very
convinced that it is simply impossible to achieve what he wants,
especially after having tried “every avenue.” He sounded resigned
to his “fate.”
There is an interesting chapter in the Bible that says that those
who have will be given more, and those who do not have, even what
he has will be taken away [Matthew 2:29]. What it means to say is
that that those who make use of the talents that they have fully
will be rewarded with abundance while those who do not will lose
even those talents they have.
If your starting point is lack (i.e. I don’t have happiness, I
don’t have wealth, I don’t have success, etc.), then you are
focused on lack (“have-not”). Guess what? You will receive what you
focus on.
On the other hand, if you starting point is abundance and act AS IF
you already possess what you wish to achieve, then you are focused
on abundance (“have”). And guess what? The law of the universe is
neutral and you will receive what you focus on.
Are you a “P” or an “S”?
Mar 30th
Take a walk to Central (IFC, Exchange Square area) during a busy
weekday and observe the people walking around on the streets. What
types of people would you see?
Well, there’ll be tall people, short people, fat people, thin
people, well-dressed people, not-so-well-dressed people, smiling
people, grouchy people, talkative people, quiet people, people who
smells nice, people who smells… not so nice.
The list goes on.
But to the employer, there are only two types of people – a “P” or
an “S”.
“P” type people are Problems. And they create Problems for their
companies.
“P” type people usually don’t know how they should do their job and
don’t know what they should be doing day-to-day. They don’t know
how to handle the projects assigned to them (but will pretend that
they do). They don’t manage their time well and don’t know how to
prioritize their tasks. They are unable to keep to deadlines. They
need to be “spoon-fed” and “led by the hand” on how things should
be done. They are afraid of their bosses thinking poorly of them
yet are unable to produce tangible results. They have no fresh and
innovative ideas to suggest and are very good at spotting what’s
wrong with other people, other people’s ideas and the current way
of doing things. They don’t put in extra time and effort to
complete tasks but expects to be paid on time each month. They
spend time surfing the web, take long lunches or coffee breaks and
spend time chit-chatting with colleagues or friends on the phone (or MSN).
They usually complain about problems rather than discuss solutions.
In others word, “P” type people are problems and they are high
costs to businesses. They drain organisational resources without
contributing significantly nor adding value on a daily basis.
“S” type people are Solutions. These are the people who solve
problems and get things done.
“S” type people know what they are doing. Even if they don’t know
how to do something, they’ll spare no effort to find out exactly
how a task or project can be accomplished. They will read books,
search the web and library for answers. They will ask their bosses,
their friends, their colleagues, their friends’ friends just so
that they get the information and resources they need to get the
job done. They will put in extra time after working hours and
during weekends just to meet deadlines. They do not wait for their
bosses to ask them about their progress. They will update their
team regularly so that everyone knows their status. They plan their
work carefully and prioritize their tasks meticulously. They
constantly think of new ideas and new ways to make their work
better and, at the same time, make their company better. They don’t
need to be reminded of their deadlines and they always make sure
that all the information needed for decisions are gathered. They
never go to their bosses with a problem unless they have thought
through it with possible solutions. Sometimes, their bosses don’t
even know there was any problem! They are focused, motivated and
hardly complain. They can spot problems before they appear and are
always thinking of solutions.
In other words, “S” type people are solutions and they are assets
to businesses. They are a significant resource to companies and
they generate more and more value everyday making themselves
indispensible.
So, are you a “P” or an “S”?
No Extra Time
Mar 28th
From young, we have always known that the way to get ourselves
“educated” is to go to school. Especially during the current
economic downturn, increasing numbers are turning to schools and
universities to upgrade, reskill, and retool themselves in the hope
of changing profession or getting a better position. Others do it
for the sake of sheltering themselves from the current market doom
and gloom.
Getting back to school for classes require that we set aside time
for lessons, study, projects, group work, examinations and
assignments. Not much of a problem with full-time students but may
be quite a challenge for people who are still working on a
full-time job.
Is it possible to upgrade our knowledge and skills without having
to spend extra time and effort? Even for students studying on a
full-time basis, is it possible to gain more knowledge on specific
areas, and thus getting an “upgrade” without spending extra time?
Think about it this way: What are some of the activities you
undertake each day that will allow you to listen to a book, speech
or seminar?
Here are my suggestions of such activities:
1. Exercising: walking, jogging, cycling (in the gym);
2. Exercising in the gym;
3. Walking from home to the bus-stop or MTR station;
4. Waiting for the bus/MTR;
5. Travelling on the bus/MTR;
6. Eating a meal alone;
7. Driving;
8. Travelling on a ferry;
9. Travelling on a plane;
10. etc.
Let’s say you spend 1.5 hour on travelling to/from work/school each
day. That’s 7.5 hours a week and 30 hours a month. While some
people prefer to sleep during such periods of time, I’d like to
suggest that such times can be better made use of! And since you
must spend such times each day, doing something more productive
during such periods results in upgrading yourself with NO EXTRA
TIME (NET)!
The way to upgrade yourself is simple:
1. Go get yourself an MP3 player (or iPod, iPhone, and many of your
mobile phones have this function).
2. Instead of loading the MP3 player with music and songs, load it
with AUDIOBOOKS (these are books not in the paper format but in the
audio format – i.e. the books are read to you through the MP3). Not
just books, there are also speeches, seminars, magazines, and
journals (like Harvard Business Review) in the MP3 audio format.
3. Listen to the audiobooks during your waiting or commuting time
(i.e. during your No Extra Time).
Many of the books available in the bookstores are available in the
audio format and they are much cheaper than the paper books
themselves.
Typically, an audiobook lasts between 2 hours to 8 hours. So, if
your NET a month is 30 hours, you can easily estimate the number of
(audio)books you can finish “reading” each month!
Now, how’s that for a quick and easy upgrade!
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