Career Worth Living For!
Life perspective
Then What?
Aug 14th
A businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied, “Only a little while.”
The businessman then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?
The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.
The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time.
The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”
The businessman scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and I can help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution.
“You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But senor, how long will this all take?”
The businessman replied, “15-20 years.”
“But what then, senor?” asked the Mexican.
The businessman laughed, and said, “That’s the best part! When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public. You’ll become very rich, you would make millions!”
“Millions, senor?” replied the Mexican. “Then what?”
The businessman said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”
Are You Sure?
Aug 12th
I just got back to hot, hot Singapore for several days now and am
now writing this week’s Jobscope entry in the middle of the night.
I’m doing this because I have just ended a rather long day (days
seem so much longer when you are in the heat most of the time
sweating a way…) but wanted to capture and share with you two
conversations I had today.
I was catching up with two friends separately today and
interestingly, our conversations followed a very similar thread. To
give you a little background, both these two friends are
high-flying executives in large organizations and both have the
word “Director” in their job title. One of them is in her early 30s
and the other in her early 40s.
Over breakfast, the friend in her early 30s spoke about needing to
take time off to enjoy her life and do the things she loves,
emphasizing the importance of a balanced life and not to take her
work too seriously and risk her health doing so. She talked how she
is managing to reschedule her life so that she doesn’t work so hard
and long any longer but instead, she is spending time to pursue
hobbies and interests. She has also found herself healthier since
making the changes.
Over dinner, my other friend in her early 40s spoke of how life is
different now since changing her job a month ago. She is no longer
stressed-out and, in fact, finds life and work at a good pace now.
Her high-blood pressure has miraculously “disappeared” and she no
longer needs to take any medication. She now has time for her love
life and reckoned that even though she took a big pay-cut with the
job switch, it was well worth it.
Did you get the thread of the two conversations?
They were about the need to slow down and balance life; and that
life is meant to be lived and enjoyed and not to be “worked away.”
I must say that such conversations are rather common amongst
mid-career professionals. It is a phase that city executives go
through and some may even call in “mid-life crisis.”
For those of you who are still studying or are young professionals,
this is something that you might have heard or read about. But I
would think that it is something that is rather hard to really
understand at this point in your life.
Most of us are taught to study hard, earn a good degree, find a
good job, work hard, earn lots of money and that is when you are
successful and fulfilled. The problem is that when we finally get
to the level when we are working very hard and earning lots of
money, we actually do not have the time (and life, for some) to
enjoy our lives.
At the time, we begin to associate with our work and achievements.
Our work becomes us and we become our work. The pressure to
continue to hang on to the work, work harder and earn more gets
even greater at that time that stopping, or slowing down, is not an
option. We start to think that without the work, we are nobody and
so, we are afraid of losing that identity.
Is it necessary to go through all that trouble and years just to
realize that there is a big difference between success and
fulfillment? That life can be enjoyed NOW? That life needs to be
balanced? That it is possible to achieve without striving?
Let me say this straight: There are only two things we know for
sure in life - Death and Taxes. The rest of life is up to you to
choose.
In the long run, we are all going to be dead.
Question is “What are you going to do with your life between now
and then?”
He made me angry!
Jul 2nd
A few months ago, I gave a class presentation assignment in which
student teams were to give a 10-minute presentation before the
class followed by an open question-and-answer session.
During one presentation, the presenter finished her 10 minutes well
and opened the floor to questions. After several straight forward
questions (which was handled with ease), one student raised his
hand and asked a series of challenging questions in a rather
agressive manner.
It was obvious to me that the questions were asked for the sake of
asking (and showing off) instead of with the intention of helping
the presenting team realize their shortcomings. There was no
intention on the part of the questioner to listen to the answer.
All he wanted to do was to throw out questions to challenge the
presenter.
Or so it seemed. At least to the presenter.
Her emotions started to boil as she responded angrily to the
provoking classmate. Her eyes then welled up with tears and at this
juncture, I decided to step in to stop the awkward situation. (If I
remember correctly, this was the first time I had a student crying
in my class!)
I spoke with her after class and told her that presentation was
actually quite well done but the way she handled the questions was
totally unprofessional. That gave her a failing score and warranted
a redo.
Her response was this, “But HE made me angry by the way he asked
his questions!”
Isn’t this how most of us respond to life?
We tend to REACT to situations rather than choose to RESPOND to
them. We think that it is other people and circumstances that are
causing us to be angry, depressed, frustrated and sad. Not just
that, we are happy only when people give us good news, or a comedy
makes us laugh, or when things go our way.
But is this true? Not so. It is so only because we chose to allow
it.
The fact is that we can CHOOSE. How we feel at the moment is a
choice.
We can CHOOSE to be happy. We can choose to focus on what we want
instead of what we don’t want. We can choose to respond in a
professional manner. We can choose not to blame others or
circumstances.We can choose to take positive and constructive
action.
Remember this: Nobody can make you upset without your permission.
So, guess what? It is up to you.
The Science of Cheating
Jun 2nd
I invigilated in an examination at a college in mainland China over
the past weekend and thought that invigilation is probably one of
the most boring jobs in the world for me.: )
But what turned out to be interesting was that, after the 3-hour
bored-to-tears work, I was told of cheating cases that ran rampant
throughout every exam every semester. And some perpetrators were
caught red-handed just the day before. Still, there are many others
who were not caught in the act and continue to cheat their way
through examinations.
Even the taxi driver who drove me to the ferry terminal en route
back to Hong Kong told me that cheating in China is a national
“sickness” and that the only lesson the cheats will learn is how
not to be caught next time.
The phenomenon is much like organized crime as the cheats band
together in groups with efficient division-of-labour. I’m sure many
of their teachers will wish they could put such resources to better
and more proper use in class.
Question is: Why do these students resort to cheating?
Is it the need to get ahead? Or is it simply that they want
something for nothing? As in, get on the fast track without any
effort…
While doing my doctoral studies, I came across one intriguing
theory that can perhaps explain the need to cheat and that is:
People who resort to cheating usual have very low self-esteem.
They do not think highly of themselves and yet, want others to
think highly of them. They want to APPEAR that they have achieved
something yet actually have achieved nothing.
Outwardly, some of them may appear to be very confident but
inwardly, they carry a deep fear of failure and deep fear of how
others around them will look down at them should they not do well
in their studies.
They think that intelligence is fixed and that they are either born
with it or they are not born with it. Yet, whichever the case, they
possess a pressing need to protect the image of “intelligence” that
others have of them that they’ll cheat just to continue to look good.
They think that smart people do not need to exert effort and if
they needed to exert effort, they’ll not appear to be smart. Hence,
they’ll choose to do tasks that appear to be difficult to others
but are easy to them. This is such that they’ll win praise.
They’ll choose to sabotage themselves and tend to procrastinate and
do things at the very last minute so that in the event they didn’t
do well with the tasks, they have the excuse of saying, “I didn’t
have much time anyway…”
Interestingly, these are the same people who will more likely slip
into depression and even kill themselves when things do not go well
or when they think that others do not think highly of them.
The sad fact is that these people live their lives like puppets -
constantly controlled by how other people look at them – hence,
devoid of meaning.
As they resort to cheating, they have trashed their integrity and
chosen the path of poor character. How can they be ever trusted
with anything?
Packaging or Content?
May 27th
Imagine this for a moment:
I go to the supermarket and buy a box of fish fingers. Upon
getting home and, being hungry, I quickly stuff the fish fingers
together with the box into the oven. I turn up the heat and wait 20
minutes.
Once that’s done, I take the fish fingers (still in the box) out
from the oven, open the box, throw away the fish fingers and eat
the … box!
I hear you shouting,”No, No, Ethan, eat the fish fingers. Not the
box!”
Oops! If I really ate the box instead of the fish fingers, you’d
think that I’m crazy.
But guess what? That’s what most of us do on a daily basis! We
value our packaging more than what the packaging is carrying.
You see, we spent incredible amounts of time and effort looking
after our packaging, i.e. our bodies. We dress it up and get very
concerned with how it looks. We groom it. We take supplements and
medication to keep it young. Some of us even use surgery to change
the parts we don’t like.
Everyday we are concerned whether our body and outer appearance,
i.e. our packaging, looks good or not, young or old, handsome or
not, pretty or not, fat or thin, tall or short, tidy or not,
muscular or trim, with hair or bald, long hair or short hair, big
hips or small hips, large breasts or small breasts…just take a
minute to observe what a person does when he/she walks pass a mirror.
We far too often put too much emphasis on how other people will see
us.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that we should not look after
our bodies and appearances. Our “packaging” does serve a purpose
and we should maintain it well such that our “contents” are well
contained.
What I’m saying is that our “packaging” is fading away day by day
and it should not be something that is more important than the
“contents” that our body holds.
What, then, are the contents?
Our mind and spirit made up by our personality, character,
emotions, beliefs, and values. These are the”things” that make up
who we really are.
How well our body operates and how “good” we look on the outside is
often a reflection of how well we are faring inside emotionally.
Our body will remain young if our mind remains young. We will look
happy if our spirit is at peace with ourselves and the world around
us.
I am saying that we should be giving priority to our real self
(i.e. who we really are) instead of what we appear to be on the
outside.
When our mind is at peace, healthy and strong, our lives will
follow suit.
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