The calls are usually anonymous, meaning the caller numbers are withheld. I usually would not answer any call that has its source number withheld but sometimes, I do expect overseas calls and so, will answer those no-number calls inevitably.

On the other hand, if the caller number is displayed, I am more inclined to answer the call although I am getting more cautious of this practice since many telemarketing firms are starting not to withhold their numbers.

Just today, I received a called and this lady said (translated from Cantonese), “Hi Sir, I am Ms. Wong representing On Shun Investments. May I know if you do any investing?”

Obviously, by Ms. Wong’s “Hi Sir,” she didn’t know who she was calling. She was simply going down the list of phone numbers given to her by her supervisor.

Since Ms. Wong is a stranger to me, my immediate thought was “I’m not interested to answer your questions.” *Click*

I used to be much nicer and would spend several minutes listening to what Ms. Wong has to say and then, gently rejecting her.

After several years of doing this, I found it much easier for me to end the conversation faster so that both of us can go on with our lives.

I mean, obviously, Ms. Wong wasn’t really interested in whether I do any investing. She’s just interested to sell me whatever she’s supposed to sell.

Nevertheless, I think people in telemarketing have remarkable stamina, courage and determination. Everyday, they get phones slammed on them and they get rejections more than 90% of the time (and this is an underestimate). Yet, they continue with their list because statistics show that every 100 phone calls they make, at least X number will say, “Yes” to them.

They are simply playing a number game.

Of course, those who cannot take the rejection will be out of the game very soon. These are the people who cannot see that the rejections are not personal. I mean, the people who reject them barely know them!

Whatever the case, I do hope Ms. Wong will ask better questions next time to gain attention and for the people she calls to be interested in what she has to say.

The old saying holds true: People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.

What are some ways you can make cold calls and get the call receiver to listen to what you have to say?

Well, at least up till 17 year old when I had to choose my A-level subjects, my determination to become a doctor was still very strong.

The source of this determination was my aunt.

I spent a large part of my childhood with my grandparents as my parents were busy with their work. When I was still a little boy, my aunt was a teenager and she spent a lot of time helping my grandmother to look after me and to “entertain” me. So, she quickly became my constant companion and idol.

I remember my grandmother always saying that it is best to have a doctor in the family so that the family’s medical needs are taken care of. I think she meant “…taken care of for free” since there are clinics and hospitals around.

My aunt was an excellent student and consistently did well in school. And she had the opportunity to go to medical school and eventually became a doctor. Thinking back, I am not sure if she became a doctor by her own freewill.

In any case, during her studies in the university, I always had the opportunity to play with her school stuff – set of surgery knives, skeleton, stethoscope, spatula, doctor’s white garb, books, etc. Although, these were just toys to me, I was regularly exposed to the medical profession. And before I knew it, I was writing essays in school about wanting to be a doctor.

My reason? I wanted to saving lives and to help others live better lives.

This decision had steered me to choose to study the subjects in secondary school necessary to prepare for medical school. With that kind of determination, there was no reason to not perform well in the secondary school exams. I got into one of the top junior colleges for my advanced level subjects and it was time to choose subjects again.

At that time, my aunt had graduated from university and officially become a doctor.  I remember vividly the day I told her about the subjects I intended to choose and she asked what I wanted to do in the future.

“I want to be a doctor, just like you”, I answered confidently.

“Don’t be a doctor. You’ll work like a dog!” came her response.

At that moment, my whole world shattered. To have someone I admired and respected so much say what she did to me at that time was devastating.

All of a sudden, I felt lost.

In the end, I chose the path of computing and emerged from the process with a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Engineering. I didn’t exactly wanted to carve a career in the IT industry. Computing was simply something I was interested to toy with as a hobby having used and programmed an Apple II since 12.

Thinking back, what intrigued me most about computers is that it is a fantastic problem-solving tool. And I LOVE troubleshooting issues and solving problems.

Now, what is the work I am doing now? What am I absolutely committed to?

Teaching, training, coaching and guiding.

It is now very clear to me why I became a teacher.  The reason has been consistent all my life in the things that I find pleasure in doing!

It is because I want to save lives and to help others live better lives. Instead of being a medical doctor, I am somewhat a “doctor of the mind” today. I am also in business and I see business as a problem-solving tool. Where there is a problem (i.e. need), there is a market.

So, that’s my own example of how to find your life purpose. Start by thinking about what you wanted to become when you were young(er). Consider why you wanted to become that or do that. Once you arrive at your root motivator (most times this will be one of your personal core values), you would have found your calling and life mission.

You can tell that he is a sharp observer of communication – reiterating the fact that communication is not just about the words and the content but everything about being congruent with the entire body. Being congruent means that what you are saying with your words, your voice, and your body are the same.

Obviously, according to Mr Shi, Hong Kong CE Donald Tsang didn’t do a better job at the recent “live” reform debate because his body language (which makes up more than 55% of his communication) did not communicate the same message as his words and voice.

Shi further analyzed that Tsang, with the background of a bureaucrat under the British system, most likely didn’t believe strongly in what he is doing [about the electoral reform package] but still has a job to do. How can he possibly convince the people if his own belief about the issue at hand is not on solid ground?

We have the innate ability to immediately sense such inconsistency in the people we communicate with. If we are unsure of our message, then it will be tough trying to “sell” the message to our audience. It seems like Donald Tsang needs to work on his presentation skills if he is to do better at selling and promoting his government’s reform package.

The same thing applies to your communication during your job interview. Are you using your whole body to communicate with the interviewer? Or are you hoping that your qualifications and words will convince them?

Data and information doesn’t sell. Emotion does. Just look at all the advertisements and media around you.

This is why it is vital to specifically pair features of products and services with benefits  that they provide. We much too often make decisions based on emotion and then justify the decisions using logic. Humans, after all, are not exactly very rational.

To do well in persuasion: Fall in love with what you do. And then, sell that love.

Remember this: People may not believe what you say, but they will believe what you do!

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

It is a personality quiz that is taken by more than 2.5million people each year. Many of the Fortune 100 companies use it. And human resources departments seem to have an affinity to it for “type-casting” people.

Measuring your scores in the areas of energy attitude (i.e. where do you get your energy from), perception, judgement, and orientation to life events, the test classifies you into one of 16 personality types.

I have a few problems with this test.

First of all, it assumes that all of the 6 billion people on earth fall neatly into just 16 personalities.

Second of all, both the creators of this test – Ms Briggs and her daughter, Ms Myers – never had any qualifications in the field of psychometric testing and analysis.

Thirdly, studies have shown that at least in 50% of the people who retake the test, their results are different. That is, they have a different personality type when retaking the same test. Now, do you think the test is the issue or the person is the issue?

Although a very popular instrument, do not mistake its popularity for its accuracy and reliability. Being popular doesn’t at all mean that it is right. There appears to be a dominant herd mentality and seriously marketing (it is expensive to take the test) at play here.

The point is that every personality test is based on some theory that someone has. Make sure you investigate that theory (and its validity) first before forking out money and jumping into the test.

The danger of a wrong personality assessment is that you mistake who you really are and thus, make wrong decisions for your life.

And most students (99% of them) would come to me without any idea what they should do for work and for life. The other 1% would be very clear with what they want and mainly wants guidance on how to get there.

For the students in the 99% group, it is not a bad thing because they are at least aware of the situation and seeking help. It is those others who are completely clueless and absolutely unaware of it that I am worried about.

Quite obviously, for students in the 99% group, their answer to, “What do you want to do after graduation?” is invariably:

“I don’t know.”

“I have never thought of it.”

Or some variation of these.

And when asked why they are studying what they are studying,  many would give me a blank stare or give an answer similar to:

“There’s good prospects… according to <some relative>.”

“I had no choice,” or “It’s not my first choice.”

“There’s big money.”

One interesting answer I got just this week was:

“Accountants look really cool.”

As a society, we have come to put a lot of trust in the education system. In fact, too much trust. A degree has been regarded by the recent past few generations to be the ticket for success and, eventually, happiness.

In fact, certain degrees are favoured over others. There is also a huge play of favouritism in the school system where the various subjects are classified in a hierarchy of importance.

Think about it. In your primary school and high school, which are the “important” subjects?

Math, science and language.

How about music, dance, art, history, religious knowledge, ethics and values? These are second-class citizens. Most schools classify these as “nice-to-haves” instead of “must-haves.”

And many parents would even say, “You cannot earn a living with these! There is no future studying these! Don’t waste your time!”

Why?

Because they were brought up in the industrial age in which the industrial revolution essentially requires people trained in the hard skills like mathematics and the Sciences so that they can work in factories and production lines.

Such an intentional and purposeful filtering of subjects in schools deprives young children of the valuable exposure they needed to discover their natural interests, talents and aptitudes.

What’s more is that these same children (that is, you and me) are being drilled day and night about the need to study hard (i.e. maths and the sciences) so that we can go to university, so that we can get a degree, so that we can get a good job, so that we can earn good money, so that we can have a good life, so that we can be successful and happy.

This is one big lie that we have been sold to consistently over the past few generations.

No wonder most of our youths and graduates today feel lost and have no idea what they should do!!

Now, there are many ways to determine what you should do in your life. If you don’t know what you want, here’s another approach:

Think about what you don’t want.

I mean think about the kind of work that you would absolutely hate to do on a day-to-day basis.

What kind of environment do you hate?

What kind of people would you hate to work with?

What would you dislike to deal with on a regular basis?

Look at what you hate and consider the opposite. You see, being clear about what you don’t want and dislike will also give you a good idea of what you want and what would work for you.