Welcome!

It’s always interesting to note what staff members of retail shops do when I walk into a shop or a restaurant. For some of the shops that are more progressive, I will often hear a word of welcome; others simply couldn’t care a hoot who walked into the shop.

What intrigues me is that many of those who says, “Welcome!” don’t actually mean it at all.In fact, I get the feeling that I am not welcomed at all.

How do I know?

Because their body language tells me so.

The words, “Welcome! Please take a seat” or “Welcome! Please take your time to choose” can be flying out of their mouths but I will often find them slouching in their chairs, not even looking at me or, if they were looking at me, their faces looked as if they just woke up from sleep.

This becomes even more amusing when, in one restaurants recently, the waiters and waitresses started wearing a bright yellow badge with a smiley face. Instead of becoming more friendly to their customers, they have opted to let the badge smile on their behalf.

Does it work? Not the slightest bit.

The fact is that our non-verbal communication screams so loud that others cannot hear our words and voices.  If you have been to my classes, you’d already know that the non-verbal portions of any face-to-face communication (body language, gestures, facial expressions, eye contact, breathing, eye blinks, listening, etc.) accounts for 55% of the entire communication; words 7% and verbal 38%.

So, the most basic thing to remember when you communicate is that what you say, how you say it and how your entire body expresses it MUST BE CONGRUENT. This has great and profound impact on not just relationships and interviews but your entire life!

But there is so much to consider for body language alone. Where should you start?

Let’s start with your smile.

A sincere and genuine smile does not stop at the lips and mouth. It extends all the way to the eyes. Show a little teeth. Try practising this in front of your mirror for 5 mins a day. If necessary, hold a pencil horizontally with your teeth and make sure your lips don’t touch the pencil.

Here’s the clincher:
When you meet someone, don’t be too quick to smile. Instead, look into the person’s face for a second, THEN, let in a warm, big, responsive smile that runs throughout your entire face. This slight delay will convince people that your smile is real and only for them.