What Do You Fear?

What is the greatest fear in your life?

At this moment, your greatest fear (which is causing stress) may be the fear of not doing well in your exams or not getting a job that you want! If this is the case, my next question to you will be this:

“So what if you don’t do well in your exams? Or don’t get the job that you want?”

What is the worst thing that could happen? Is life going to end or become miserable thereafter? NO! Life is certainly not going to end and you are not going to suffer greatly (except maybe your ego and self-esteem will suffer some damage) just because of less-than-expected exam results. So, what will actually happen to you? Are there ways to solve (or minimise) such problems?

Step 1

You see, the first step to overcoming any fear is to determine the worst-case scenario. What could the absolute worst situation be if that fear of yours actually happened? Take out a blank piece of paper and write it down. Be specific.

Now, look at the worst-case scenario that you have written down and think about this: What actions can be taken to minimize, control or remove the damage? Write these down. Again, be specific.

Consider the fear again and you’ll realise that it is now not as bad as it seems. 99.9% of all fears never ever occur.

Most us will feel a little unwell, our stomachs start to churn, our heads become a little faint, our muscles start to become tense and we break out into cold sweat when we think about our fears. Guess what? While we experience all that turmoil within us, nothing at all has changed outside of ourselves. Yet, fear is capable of making our bodies react in a detrimental way and rob us of health and joy.

Step 2

The second step to overcoming fear is to actually face it. The best and fastest way of getting rid of fear is to do the very thing you fear. The longer you avoid doing something because of your fear of the outcome, the more tired you will become. Constantly keeping it in your mind drains you of more mental energy than if you were to, as Nike’s slogan says, just do it.

What else can I do?

Always remember that you have a choice. Under any situation, you can choose how you want to respond. You can choose to continue to live in fear and not do anything about it and let it have control over you. Or you can choose to conquer it today, right now.

Your Daily Comfort Challenge!

Here are some small challenges which you can tackle everyday. By doing these tasks, you will quickly expand your comfort zone and begin to not care that much about what other people thinks. What’s more? It’ll be fun!

• Eye gaze – look a person in the eye (choose one) when he or she is talking to you and don’t look away. Better still, choose to look at a stranger in the eye.
• Propose and suggest – instead of leaving decisions open, begin to suggest and propose ideas. For example, propose a specific place for lunch instead of being undecided about it.
• Ask a stranger for his or her phone number (think of a good excuse!)
• For a day, say “No” to all requests.
• Relax in public – for example, lie down for 10 seconds in the middle of the bridge from Hung Hom MTR station.
• Instead of the usual way to work or school or home, choose a different route one day.